Cruising Mates Forum: Cruise reviews, chat, answers and information. cruisingmates.co.uk • View topic - It wasn't me! But it could have been!

It wasn't me! But it could have been!

It wasn't me! But it could have been!

Postby Skier Pete » 17 May 2016 19:57

tomvet wrote:
Skier Pete wrote:I would like to remind members of the "Forum Rules"






I'm not a fan of rules; I much prefer to believe that people will naturally behave with courtesy and consideration towards others and, above all, will seek to make this forum a comfortable and pleasant place to visit. As I write, Cruising Mates Forum has been in existence for nearly eight months, and it's to everyone's credit that we've established an ethos which is exactly that.

Having been a member of various forums, both cruising and non-cruising, I'm well aware that 'niceness' isn't everyone's cup of tea. Being nice doesn't mean we can't have robust debates; it simply means that we won't make personal remarks about each other.

Some Cruising Mates' members are also members of other forums, any of which may well have a different ethos and tone to ours. We might not always like that ethos, but we have no control over what they deem acceptable behaviour from their members. On occasion, a Cruising Mates member might be referred to by name (or by pseudonym) on another forum about what they have posted on Cruising Mates. It is very important that we do not respond in a similar fashion here.

Therefore, I would like to make it clear that it's not part of our ethos to post personal remarks about members of other forums either.


This doesn't mean that we can't comment in general terms about the things we read elsewhere - of course we can, because we're here to talk. I'm simply asking that we afford members of other forums the same courtesy that we afford our own members.

Should you find that you've been subjected to unreasonable behaviour from someone on another forum I believe the best course of action is to approach the administrators of that forum directly. To respond in kind on either that forum or on this one is to risk further unpleasantness.

The bottom line is this: Cruising Mates Forum appeals to a special kind of person - one who shows respect for others - and so I respectfully ask that we all abide by this Forum Rule for the benefit of us all.


Please be careful what you post


Would that be a shot across our bows? :roll:

It's is a reminder from a mod who is fulfilling his role in maintaining the ethos of the forum.

If you think that a warning shot is needed then you are at liberty to take it as that .
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Postby tomvet » 17 May 2016 20:31

If I knew, I wouldn't have asked the question.

Very well I won't take it as such then.
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Postby sparkiethecruiser » 17 May 2016 20:58

tomvet wrote:If I knew, I wouldn't have asked the question.

Anyhow, thank you for muddying the waters response, however, your opening line of your post has been noted 'I would ................ ' That is a lot of largesse to have....

'Fulfilling?' .............. I just love self awareness! :D


Tom behave don't you have cows bum to shave or something?? :-P that comment about the razors will come back to haunt you btw you realise that :lol:

Children to read a story too before bed or something :lol: :lol:

Just curious has anyone ever went on a cruise and wore everything that they took I mastered it last cruise although nephew doesn't think trying on and outfit then changing in it really counts :?
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Postby octocruiser » 17 May 2016 21:08

Skier Pete wrote:I would like to remind members of the "Forum Rules"






I'm not a fan of rules; I much prefer to believe that people will naturally behave with courtesy and consideration towards others and, above all, will seek to make this forum a comfortable and pleasant place to visit. As I write, Cruising Mates Forum has been in existence for nearly eight months, and it's to everyone's credit that we've established an ethos which is exactly that.

Having been a member of various forums, both cruising and non-cruising, I'm well aware that 'niceness' isn't everyone's cup of tea. Being nice doesn't mean we can't have robust debates; it simply means that we won't make personal remarks about each other.

Some Cruising Mates' members are also members of other forums, any of which may well have a different ethos and tone to ours. We might not always like that ethos, but we have no control over what they deem acceptable behaviour from their members. On occasion, a Cruising Mates member might be referred to by name (or by pseudonym) on another forum about what they have posted on Cruising Mates. It is very important that we do not respond in a similar fashion here.

Therefore, I would like to make it clear that it's not part of our ethos to post personal remarks about members of other forums either.


This doesn't mean that we can't comment in general terms about the things we read elsewhere - of course we can, because we're here to talk. I'm simply asking that we afford members of other forums the same courtesy that we afford our own members.

Should you find that you've been subjected to unreasonable behaviour from someone on another forum I believe the best course of action is to approach the administrators of that forum directly. To respond in kind on either that forum or on this one is to risk further unpleasantness.

The bottom line is this: Cruising Mates Forum appeals to a special kind of person - one who shows respect for others - and so I respectfully ask that we all abide by this Forum Rule for the benefit of us all.


Please be careful what you post


I think an apology to CM might be in order. I forgot my manners.

Whatever my opinion I should not use this forum to respond to even greater lack of manners and courtesy elsewhere. It does not reflect well on me or the forum to sink to the same level .
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Postby tomvet » 17 May 2016 21:25

octocruiser wrote:
Skier Pete wrote:I would like to remind members of the "Forum Rules"






I'm not a fan of rules; I much prefer to believe that people will naturally behave with courtesy and consideration towards others and, above all, will seek to make this forum a comfortable and pleasant place to visit. As I write, Cruising Mates Forum has been in existence for nearly eight months, and it's to everyone's credit that we've established an ethos which is exactly that.

Having been a member of various forums, both cruising and non-cruising, I'm well aware that 'niceness' isn't everyone's cup of tea. Being nice doesn't mean we can't have robust debates; it simply means that we won't make personal remarks about each other.

Some Cruising Mates' members are also members of other forums, any of which may well have a different ethos and tone to ours. We might not always like that ethos, but we have no control over what they deem acceptable behaviour from their members. On occasion, a Cruising Mates member might be referred to by name (or by pseudonym) on another forum about what they have posted on Cruising Mates. It is very important that we do not respond in a similar fashion here.

Therefore, I would like to make it clear that it's not part of our ethos to post personal remarks about members of other forums either.


This doesn't mean that we can't comment in general terms about the things we read elsewhere - of course we can, because we're here to talk. I'm simply asking that we afford members of other forums the same courtesy that we afford our own members.

Should you find that you've been subjected to unreasonable behaviour from someone on another forum I believe the best course of action is to approach the administrators of that forum directly. To respond in kind on either that forum or on this one is to risk further unpleasantness.

The bottom line is this: Cruising Mates Forum appeals to a special kind of person - one who shows respect for others - and so I respectfully ask that we all abide by this Forum Rule for the benefit of us all.


Please be careful what you post


I think an apology to CM might be in order. I forgot my manners.

Whatever my opinion I should not use this forum to respond to even greater lack of manners and courtesy elsewhere. It does not reflect well on me or the forum to sink to the same level .


I did write a lengthy response here to Kath but in the interest of the forum ethos, I will PM you instead!
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Postby octocruiser » 17 May 2016 22:41

Message received and understood , Tommy. ;)
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Postby tomvet » 17 May 2016 23:14

octocruiser wrote:Message received and understood , Tommy. ;)


Like wise Madame Seamstress! ;)
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Postby Dave » 19 May 2016 08:55

octocruiser wrote:I think an apology to CM might be in order. I forgot my manners.

Whatever my opinion I should not use this forum to respond to even greater lack of manners and courtesy elsewhere. It does not reflect well on me or the forum to sink to the same level .

No apology is needed Kath. I think your manners are beyond question.

I think it might be worth me explaining why I wrote the quoted rule in the first place - in order to give some context.

When Cruising Mates was founded over five years ago most of our original members were very active on the Cruises.co.uk forum (sometimes known as Cruise Dot or CD). There were a number of people on CD who wrote unpleasant things about our new forum and our members, and some of our members responded in a similar (if much less unpleasant!) manner. Some people posted on both forums but, because of the 'forum war' going on, when they posted on CD they often found they were sneered at. It was put to me that we should stop responding on our forum to taunts and abuse from CD - to take the high ground as it were. It's all very embarrassing now, but at the time I felt I needed to write that rule. :angel:

It can be seen that the rule very clearly refers to 'another forum' / 'other forums', and that is the context.

As I see it, the problem is this... Most of the attacks on us from CD came from one man. He was later banned from CD and I'm told he's also been banned from Bolsover's forum which he joined soon after. Now he's left with his personal blog and I gather his attacks still continue in a section dedicated to sneering at us and some of our members. I've not looked at his blog for 14 months, but I know some still do. In my view, a section of a personal blog which is used solely to abuse our members is not covered by our rule about other forums. Having said that though, I think it's necessary to maintain a level of dignity and to use language with care if responding to the blog. I think that 'being careful about what you post' means exactly that - by all means post in response to what you see written about you or us, but please avoid language that might make members who know nothing about this man or his blog think poorly of us. (And by the way, I'm not saying that anyone has used unacceptable language - only that we shouldn't!)
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Postby grannyM » 19 May 2016 09:08

It does not seem so long ago that many of our members agreed with Dave that the best way to deal with these personal attacks would be to 'ignore'. :?

Plunky's Open letter topic December 2015

Dave wrote:I do however completely understand why some who are being targeted feel they must read what he says, and I don't think it's for me to tell people how to deal with these issues. What I will say though is that I believe the attacks are to do with attention-seeking. If attention is removed, the attacks will probably increase for a time in order to get a reaction of some kind, but eventually the attention-seeker will either give up trying - or sit alone in his room spitting venom at no one.
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Postby octocruiser » 19 May 2016 09:53

Thanks, Dave. I was aware of the history, but I know some members will not be. I feel that the background you have outlined will help them to understand the situation.

I think this forum as a whole can hold up with dignity to the ongoing insults from the other source.

It is just a pity that the individuals who have been targetted so unfairly with unwarranted slurs do not have any means of redress.

This has only affected me marginally and thankfully I can have a look from time to time and not be upset for myself. In fact it would be good for a laugh if it were not exposing a mind with such twisted values that I can't help feeling some pity for.
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